The Origins of PERO (A Five-Year Retrospective)
~by Chiriko

The impact of Pretty Combat Communist Rika-Chan is still being felt today, as demonstrated by this post FIVE YEARS after the first PCCR cosplay.

PERO was inspired by otaku-baffling efforts as early as five years ago, when I was 15. My friend Janelle introduced me to the world of exploiting annoying otaku in a fun way with her wonderful page to the anime Pretty Combat Communist Rika-chan, something she had started at a previous ACen. Tired of the inanities of fandom, she donned a seifuku at ACen 98 and told otaku about the wonders of PCCR, a rather stereotypically brilliant magical girls' show. Otaku simply couldn't stand being left out of the loop and would actually pretend they'd heard of the show; those who would admit they didn't know about it would still admit to having heard of it at one time or another. And so the easy gullibility of otaku eager to prove their knowledge in areas irrelevent would come into play as a large-scale factor in the worldwide offensive against their annoying ways. I aided this effort by writing episode summaries and finding the TV-size versions of the opening and ending themes. ;)

Anime Expo 99 came and went, leaving us with the following lessons: Yoko Kanno is cool, otaku are stupid, DDR was the next big ploy to try and get otaku to exercise, and Mari Iijima was and is a stupid talentless bitch. (Yes, I went to the concert. >.< Big mistake... ugh.) I was also cheated out of an immense amount of money by a Fuckin' Otaku acquaintance.

At Fanime 2000, in the absence of Janelle, I sought to bring the wonders of Pretty Combat Communist Rika-chan to a new crowd, wearing a "costume" of Tetsuya Kanno, the boy Rika loves in the series (who actually turns into the nefarious otherworldly villain STALIN!!! omfg!!!!!) and talking to other cosplayers. I was met with delightfully chilly reception from the Sailor Moon cosplayers, to whom I would ask "What are you supposed to be?"
"I'm, uh, Sailor Moon..."
"Oh? From what show?"
"Uh... Sailor Moon."
"Oh, I haven't heard of that one. I'm from the Pretty Combat Communist Rika-chan New Years' OVA in which Tetsuya goes to Rika-chan's house because he's really the evil Stalin and she messes up his hair when he gets drunk."
This was also known as the convention in which I roomed with and (subsequently...!!!) got to know Val, the artist behind a good portion of other stuff here at Cats on Mars. When Val saw a line, she'd go "Is this the line to meet Carl Macek?!" in an excited voice, to be met with disgusted jeers from otaku at the mention of the man who would dare defile their precious Macross. I was hooked.

It was only my third year of going to cons, and the otaku were already ruining them for me. I believe it happened at ACen 2000, in which I costumed a DDR pad and brought a bag of costume materials to fashion a makeshift PCCR costume group, under Janelle's astute direction. We spread the gospel of PCCR and tricked many a fuckin' otaku that weekend.

But that was not enough; I believe that was truly the weekend I came to hate otaku, when a fatass nerd cornered me in an elevator and bitched to me about how my nickname was "Chiriko." His nametag read "Tamahome." He was like "Why do you like him? He's the most worthless character in the series!" I believe Janelle told him it was none of his fucking business, but I can't quite remember.

Another memory from that weekend involves an otaku acquaintance getting into the hotel's hot tub with his clothes on with a group of friends and I, and he ACTUALLY TURNED THE WATER GREEN. I don't care if you think that was from the dye in his clothes -- it was pure otaku stench. I know this in my heart.

After what could only be called an eventfully strange ACen, I deigned not to go back to Chicago for awhile (and in fact haven't been back since) and spent the next few months finishing high school and embarking on that typical "I'M FREE!" trip to visit some friends in the Bay Area. I spent about a week making fun of otaku with Janelle, Eileen, Chad, and others, culminating in what had to be the greatest Morning Musume parody ever seen. On this trip, Steph held a pool party (at which we definitively mocked Morning Musume's Love Machine; it will never be better derided again in human history) and jokingly had me try on a Card Captor Sakura costume she was planning to wear, to which her mother commented "He looks better than you do in it." The decision to devote the coming AX 2000 to pissing off or frightening otaku the fuck away had been made.

Thus began the true incarnation of the PERO initiative. Granted, I didn't have an acronym or anything... that's something I came up with for FuKu. ;) But I couldn't think of anything better to characterize the initiative which prides itself on horrifying otaku.

PERO in action: AX2K and beyond

The crossplaying effort was quite a success, I'm afraid. My portrayal of Cardcaptor Sakura was such a successful one that it apparently inspired copycat actions in other guys (or so I've been told). As Katie has informed me, "Well, you were pretty much the first guy Sakura who was actually able to pull it off." I don't know what sort of news that is to me, but um... at any rate, one particularly memorable moment of this (aside from the very, VERY many horrified fanboys) was but a demonstration to me that my assault had little real impact: Walking by the dealer's room, I sang aloud in my friend Lucinda's mock-voice, "Miracle lah," an incredibly stupid line from the [incredibly stupid] Fushigi Yuugi opening theme, only to have it be answered in serenade by an otaku. The otaku in question was sprawled out in a mass of recently-purchased anime crap and comic books; he began singing in a mock-operatic voice, holding his hand out to me and looking deep in to my eyes... "伝説が動き出して。" Yeah, annoying, right? Apparently he missed the part where I had a penis and was hardly interested in his fat otaku ass, straight or 'otherwise.' He added to the number of really ugly and disgusting otaku who sexually harassed me before realizing I was a guy. =P It is worth noting that, being a karaoke contest judge and staffer, I began a tradition of singing and entertaining the crowd that I still get to do today, singing Catch You Catch Me and Purachina. (Personal sidenote: This is also the con where I first met Katie and Rin.)

At about this time, Cats on Mars was founded with the intent of not only spreading the most random humor possible, but also truly sticking it to the otaku world. Val and I founded the Cats on Mars COMic in December 2000 to chronicle our strange lives as well as our weird con experiences; the rest is Mari Iijima-hating history. Fuckin' Otaku was conceptualized at the same time between Val and myself, and was "in the works"  for the next several years. (Heh. We're lazy.) From there on out, offending otaku sensibilities was the name of the game, no questions asked, but between AX2k and Fanime 2001, a lot changed in my life. I introduced my girlfriend Evelyn to the horrors of anime conventions (which by this point had become "grueling and boring events made fun only by the friends I get to see" -- I still view cons this way) and the initiative of patronizing otaku remained a key idea. Evelyn and I put together some makeshift costumes from the latest thing to come out of Japan -- SHIN PCCR! As Neo-Stalin and Neo-Mao, we looked more like British porn stars, but managed to convince quite a few people we were legitimate costumers. Must've been the vinyl pants.

At Anime Expo 2001, a key piece of cloth on loan from a friend turned the crossdressing Chiriko into a yearly tradition, when I became the RINOA FROM HELL! The song I sang to kill time in the karaoke contest? Eyes on Me -- one of my most detested songs. Now, perhaps it's just personal experience, but every Rinoa I've ever known has taken it upon themselves to treat fellow Rinoa cosplayers with passive hostility, and then talk shit about their costumes immediately behind their back. While this is a trait nearly every cosplayer is prone to (stupid infighting-prone drama queens) I witnessed it very visibly and nastily with Rinoas. This is perplexing because Rinoa is an incredibly easy costume to make; however, I'm sure the character would act the same way. That's it, they're just "in character." Whatever.

Fanime 2002 saw, timed with Mari Iijima's concert, the debut of Manmay. At this point the logo for FuKu had already been designed by Mizu, so the notion of crossdressing as Minmay was in effect a testament to FuKu and the ultimate "fuck you" to otaku. I sang the Macross theme song as well as "My Boyfriend is a Pilot" in a baritone voice at the karaoke contest, but the most memorable moment was truly the culmination of the PERO effort. As Katie fixed my hair in a lobby and a group of others surrounded me trying to make me... uh... more believable, I guess... a skinny, pale, bespectacled otaku with red hair came running up to us (a group of TOTAL STRANGERS) with an excited look on his face.

"Did you hear?!" he exclaimed with all the joy of a child on Christmas morning. "MARI IIJIMA IS GIVING A CONCERT!!!"
"Isn't this her?" asked Val, gesturing to me. The life drained from the otaku's face as he backed away with a look of abject horror on his face. Val truly destroyed his world. =)

We then found out that Mari Iijima was, indeed, giving a concert at that very moment. I decided it was time for a showdown between a talented, creative musician and Mari Iijima. We walked into the recital hall to see her sitting at a piano, with a crowd of about thirteen otaku.

"Ai wrote disu songu... when it uwasu reening." She then began. "Eetzu reening again..." The hilarity was far too much, and I had to excuse myself (being staff, laughing publically at a guest would perhaps NOT be the best idea at the time...). Mari's unintentionally bad music and lyrics may have won that round, but I believe we will win the war.

Anime Expo 2002 saw not Manmay, but rather the reprise of Card Captor Chiriko. Steph had ANOTHER costume laying around that she wanted me to wear. Who am I to decline? There's nothing particularly interesting that I can remember from AX2k2 from my own cosplay point of view, but we made Evelyn up as Yu~ki from our "FAVORITE" Jrock band (one of our invention) called Shizan. (死産) Evelyn looked damn hot, and otaku would NOT stop staring at her. God! Leave my girlfriend alone, you fucking freaks! (This from a guy in a dress...) Other than that, AX2k2 was very uneventful.

Fanime and AX2003 saw what may be my most bastardized version of Anime girls that otaku love for their virginal innocence yet; Ass-Kickin' Aeris. (Yeah, "Aerith." Whatever. Fuck you.) Aside from dealing with Nekki Basara, I wasn't harassed at all in this costume. I was goaded, photographed, cheered, and congratulated, all on a costume Katie made (and one she didn't think was particularly any better than anything else, at that) and loaned me. The highlight of AX 2003 was singing Shiina Ringo's "Honnou" after faking everyone out with the intro to "Suteki da ne." I truly hope I ruined SOMEONE'S image of Aeris, but after four years of destroying fanboy dreams, it seems people were used to my assault on their favorite anime girls. I guess you've gotta show ass-hair like MAN-FAYE!!! to get a response out of otaku these days, and I absolutely refuse to do that.

In summation, that's the history of the PERO initiative, up until November 2003. Now we, the Cats on Mars, seek to organize, seek to educate, and seek to protect the world from the nasty creatures known as otaku. The concept is simple: anything done to patronize an otaku (such as satirizing his favorite characters through aggressive cosplay), anything done to exploit his stupidity (such as taking his words and putting them on a website about how otaku suck) or anything done to repel his smelly obnoxiousness (such as dressing as a girl so he'll question his sexuality and run away) -- all of these things contribute to taking something interesting -- and this can apply to ANY medium to which there are obnoxious diehards -- back for the people who enjoy it. My motivation for this entire website is at the core of PERO; if I can't make fun of otaku, they're going to make me fucking hate every animated thing that comes out of Japan, and that pisses me off. I'll keep them the fuck away from me or teach them to behave before I let them ruin what is a perfectly legitimate form of media by association.

With that, any future updates to the PERO initiative, such as anecdotes where someone takes real initiative in fighting the good fight(!), future plans or assaults on the darker side of fandom, or just downright fun con anecdotes (hey, it's my site), may be added sparingly. I believe I've laid out the basics. Now it's up to you to take the initiative.

Respectfully,

~Chiriko